Puffer-fishing
Avoiding closeness by pushing others away
Example
he seemed great until we started talking about future plans
yeah that’s classic puffer‑fishing
next thing i know he’s ghosting me
exactly, spikes out when things get real
Related Slang
| Surface-level dating | Shallow, guarded conversations while dating |
| Gaslighting | Manipulating information to create doubt |
| Ghosting | Leaving without saying goodbye |
| Zombieing | Returning to someone you left abruptly and acting like you mutually ended it |
| Haunting | Following a romantic partner on social media after abruptly leaving them |
| Orbiting | Following someone on social media without direct interaction |
| Love bombing | Bombarding someone with acts of adoration |
| Hiberdating | Ignoring friends while dating a person |
| Pocketing | Dating a person you are uncertain about |
| Submarining | Dating a person, disappearing, then reappearing |
| Deep dating | Early emotional honesty in dating |
Can you survive our Dungeons & Dragons slang quiz?
Puffer‑fishing (or "puffer fishing") describes a relationship behavior where someone pushes others away when they start to get close, especially emotionally. The phrase comes from the puffer fish, a marine fish that inflates its spines when it feels threatened, creating the imagery of someone "puffing up" instead of engaging when vulnerability or intimacy increases. The concept was popularized in the mid‑2020s by therapist and content creator Kati Morton, who shared personal insights about this pattern in dating and relationships.
People who "puffer‑fish" tend to avoid closeness by withdrawing, ghosting, picking fights, or finding reasons to end things just as a bond is forming. While the term started in the context of dating, people may also apply it to friendships and family relationships to describe similar patterns (basically anytime someone "sticks their emotional spines out" instead of communicating).