Submarining
Dating a person, disappearing, then reappearing
Example
Jack was caught submarining Kimbra and was called out in front of everyone at the club. It was epic!
Related Slang
Ghosting | Leaving without saying goodbye |
Irish goodbye | Leaving without saying goodbye |
Ghostlighting | Stop communicating with someone and pretend like you don't know him |
Gaslighting | Manipulating information to create doubt |
Breadcrumbing | Leading someone on romantically |
Love bombing | Bombarding someone with acts of adoration |
Stashing | Dating a person but unwilling to publicly acknowledge it |
Roaching | Secretly dating many romantic partners at the same time |
Benching | Using a person as a backup date |
Player | A person who manipulates others for their own gain |
Tooling | Manipulating a person |
Friends with benefits | Friends that often get intimate |
Submarining is when a person dates someone, disappears, and then reappears, all without adequately communicating their absence to their ghosted partner. The term comes from how a submarine submerges underwater, then resurfaces at a later time.
People have submarined romantic partners for many years, but Metro actually coined the term submarining in 2017. Submarining may also go by the name of "zombie-ing."
This dating trend is a variation of ghosting in which the person returns to the crime scene, acting as if nothing happened. It's very frustrating for those who were submarined because there is no closure when the person leaves, then no helpful explanation when they return.
What does submarining look like?
A person submarining their partner may go on several dates with them but then inexplicably disappear in-person and online. Then, several months later, the submariner suddenly returns to their partner's life, causing much confusion.
Submarining is a red flag that the submariner doesn't care about the relationship because they are inconsiderate of their partner's feelings. They may return because they are bored, want to hook up, or want some sort of validation. You should be very wary of re-connecting with a partner who submarined you since you will never know when they might do it again.